Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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