Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
