ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
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