i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
