I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
