saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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