just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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