Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm like, not good at living.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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