If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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