They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
