that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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