Everything about him screamed your future.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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