So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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