Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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