Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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