When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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