the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
