Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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