Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
