In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize