And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
