Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
