Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
