I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
