You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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