Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
