This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
