Don't make out with my wife yet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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