jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Randomize