Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
