i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
