i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
