Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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