Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
