I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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