I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
did i just pee glitter
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
