Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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