If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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