Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
