bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
