Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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