Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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