thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
