Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
