Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
