I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
