if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
