You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
