I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
