We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
