I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
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