That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
