I'm going to jail i love you
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
