Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
