It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
