mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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