there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
