Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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