so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
