I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
