I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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