bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
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