I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
