I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Randomize
