I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
